Saturday, May 28, 2011
(5/28/2011 07:34:00 PM) - Al
Weddings from the mind of a man.
I haven't been to a wedding in years...I think the last one I was obligated to go to was the youngest sister of the Rambling wife. I'm always puzzled when people say "We have 11 weddings this summer," hinting that they don't want to go to them, but feel obligated. So, being antisocial and very protective of my time, I reply, "Just don't go. I don't." They give me a look of horror, gasp, put their hand over their mouth, and say, "Well, we have to." And again, I say, "No, you don't. In fact, if you send them a card with a check in it, they'll be happy, because it's less people to plan for, and to take care of."
At this point, the man often looks at me like what I say is 100% true, and they'll be damned if they're going to 11 stinking weddings this summer. But the female of the species still doesn't comprehend, and will argue they are somehow obligated to go the weddings of a former coworker they have not seen since 1995, the godson of their mom they've never met (whose wedding is in Toronto on July 4th), and especially their high school friend's cousin's petsitter's band director's aunt, who is remarrying her hubby in honor of their 1st anniversary...and yes, they went to version number one just a single journey around the sun ago.
Send a card. Say you have previous plans (mine often involve sleeping 'til noon, wearing my boxers the entire day, and grilling a delicious, not premium but still quite tasty cut of beef, especially if marinated properly overnight) and you'll enjoy the weekends between Memorial Day and Labor Day oodles more than you do now.
And the bride and groom (who more than likely won't still be together in a couple years anyway) will never even miss you.
5/28/2011 07:34:00 PM